


Sweetheart

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Dialogue Heavy, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, and doesn't always serve the plot?, but like it goes back and forth at the speed of sound, esoteric references, follows no canon and the plot is vague but in like a fun way, kinetic tension, minor mention of nicotine use, my bad sense of humor, seriously though my sense of humor is bad, shamelessly using hypothermia as a plot device, so much dialogue, sorry everyone, sorry jeff, these tags are out of order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-24 20:05:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14362653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: alternatively named, if two people are shit at emotional intimacy, put them in situations that force it.(Update: This fic haunts me, and not in a good way)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I write this is in loving memory of Ajit Pai, who died to me last night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the opening to this fic last and quickly. It shows. To be fair, though, nobody reading this gives a shit about the mission details. I just like to make sure they're logically sound, or it bugs me.
> 
>  Helo yes and welcome to my fanfiction where I, an under the age of twenty year-old totally know what it's like to be forty lol  
> They said if you write drunk, you should edit sober, but I didn't edit at all

The air in Nepal wasn't what Hanzo Shimada would have considered welcoming, and in compound with his lack of need to move around much, he was far from warm.

It was, however, bearable. He could think of worse places to be at early afternoon.

They were staked out on a mission, a so far boring round of capture the intelligence. The plan was for Morrison to meet with Overwatch's undercover agent and get the Talon briefcase they were looking for, which was said to contain information about nuclear war plans or a secret second moon the government was hiding from the general populous or something. Nothing remotely interesting, but they were getting paid. All Hanzo had to do today was shoot anything and anyone if something went wrong. 

He was perched atop a short two-story building, scouring the area for intruders. He'd been at it for two hours longer than expected, and it had gotten to the point where Hanzo wondered if anything was going to happen today at all. Ana had straight up laid down in the snow and fallen asleep.

His brother was seated upon an omnic statue next to Fareeha, who was right in the middle of throwing a snowball at the back of Jesse McCree's head.

Hanzo watched as the white ball of ammo sailed and pegged the man's hat off. Upon impact, Jesse whirled around, saw Fareeha laughing, scooped up some snow, and launched a ball out of his serape in an arc that hit her square in the face.

Normal dead mission antics.

Genji looked up at Hanzo and waved. Jesse followed Genji's gaze and gave Hanzo a hat tip. Hanzo returned both of their gestures with an uncomfortable nod.

"What 'those ears picking up?" Jesse called up to Hanzo.

Jesse McCree was a good friend. Which was surprising to Hanzo, as he had spend month after month sneering down the man whenever he tried to start a conversation. But for some reason that Hanzo still couldn't comprehend, Jesse hadn't let up, and eventually Hanzo had come to admire his strong sense of ethics, cautious sense of optimism, sense of humor that was higher-of-brow than Hanzo had originally anticipated, and truly horrible way of speaking and dressing.

They went on walks, they had cups of tea, they trained together. They swapped friendly banter, and occasionally heartfelt stories of home. They worked exceeding well together in combat. It was all lovely, except for one  _tiny_  problem.

"There has not yet been a stir." Hanzo answered.

"Thanks for the update, sweetheart." Jesse replied.

Sweetheart.

A word with the implication of cuteness, charm, or maybe a core of morality. Hanzo had none of that.

The problem wasn't the pet names. The problem wasn't the causal flirtation Jesse dumped on him on a daily basis. Because that was just the way Jesse spoke, as a courtesy of the culture he had been submerged into during his developing years. 

No, the problem was that as much as he tried to deny it, Hanzo enjoyed being spoken to in such a way. It especially didn't help that it was from Jesse McCree.

' _Shameful_ ' said his subconscious. Hanzo sighed. This was a common occurrence.  

 _Truly shameful_ ,' his subconscious continued, ' _because it does not mean to Jesse what it means to you._ _You might as well be singing off-key and dancing in public._ ' 

There were a few minutes of silence. Hanzo examined his surrounding with serious, methodical care, on alert for danger. He drummed his fingers against his shoulder, next to his quiver until the motion became repetitive.

" _But then I saw her FACE! Now I am a BELIEVER!_ " sung Genji loudly and out of key, as he jumped off the statue and started to dance for all to see.

" _Not a TRACE! Not a DOUBT IN MY MIND._ " Genji continued. There were more than a few snickers. Fareeha took flight to get a good video, while Hana and Jesse did all but roll around laughing on the ground. Angela damage boosted him, increasing his performance abilities.

With Genji's accent, poor vocal skills, and choice of the running man, it was truly a horrible sight and sound.

' _If only they liked you as much as they loved your brother._ ' said Hanzo's subconscious. ' _Everyone is delighted by his lack of humiliation. You should be ashamed by your person being so frequently overcome by shame._ '

' _Do you not see the irony in what you are proposing?_ ' he thought back.

' _I do, but you will still suffer regardless._ '

"Join me, brother!" Genji yelled up to Hanzo, trying for the umpteenth time this week to bond with him.

"I would rather lie down and be buried than bring shame on our family in such a manner." Hanzo replied.

"He's just mad he can only dance like an old man who takes himself too seriously." said Hana.

"It is true." Genji agreed. "When my brother dances, it brings out his authoritarian upbringing."

"I dunno. I ain't never seen Hanzo dance." said Jesse. Hanzo stiffened.

"Genji and I can both assure you, you are not missing much." he said.

"Well, now I gotta see." Jesse replied.

"When pigs take flight, when class dynamics are not hostile, and when you manage to out-shoot me, I will dance."

An "Oooooooooh" boiled up from the crowd. Jesse grinned.

"You're on, parder." he replied, sparking a louder "Ooooh".

"On with what?" Hanzo asked.

"Shootin' contest. Me and you."

"You misunderstand. I was not making a proposition. I was simple naming impossible feats."

"Alright, I ain't gonna stand around and take that. I'm gonna set something up for us to settle this." Jesse replied, treading off into the snow.

"And I will be on lookout, so that we can survive another day."

"You don't gotta be a dick about it."

"Oh, I am not insulting your choice, as I am not implying that your lack of aid will make my job any more difficult." Hanzo replied, turning up the right corner of his mouth so Jesse could tell he was joking.

"Every time you talk sweet to me like that, it reminds me a' my dear mother." Jesse shot back as a smile formed on his mouth.

As he scouted for enemies, Hanzo watched Jesse out of the corner of his eye. The future shoot-off loser seemed to be setting up some sort of contraption with snow and an empty Gatorade bottle. Angela, Genji, and Fareeha trudged inside one of the brick-lain buildings, either too cold or too bored to continue lookout.

Probably the latter. Usually, abandoning post was not ideal, but Morrison waved them by.

"Done." Jesse said. "Come put that bow where your pretty mouth is, sugar cake."

Sugar Cake.

A desert that could only be described as 'sweet'. Edible. 

For a moment, Hanzo felt warmth prickling in his solar plexus. However, the pleasure was quickly shot down.

' _Jesse McCree talks to everyone like that. Why would you feel pleased by him simply speaking in line with his dialectical habits? Act like the grown man._ ' his subconscious nagged. 

"Tell us who wins, McCree!" Hana shouted as she and Lucio followed the others inside, bringing Ana's still slumbering body with them so she wouldn't freeze.

"You're not gonna watch?" asked Jesse.

"It's better if it's a surprise." Hana answered. "Also, this mission is dead and we're cold."

"Join us when you are done." Genji yelled. Although it was said to both Hanzo and Jesse, Hanzo didn't miss the proposition.

"Perhaps." Hanzo offered, knowing it was a lie. 

Maybe he should spend more time with brother. 

' _And look his scarred face in the eyes_ _?_ ' his subconscious asked.

' _At the very least, our relationship is no longer hostile._ ' Hanzo thought back.

' _Only took you two years, after his return. Six-hundred and seventy days, give or take a few months._ '

Hanzo leapt away from his thoughts, landing neatly in front of Jesse.

"I would say something along the lines of 'at least now, there is no chance of others witnessing the possibility of my defeat', if I was someone less competent." said Hanzo.

"Put it away, darlin', that's public indecency." Jesse replied, spinning his gun. "But let's make this interesting."

"How interesting?" 

Darling. 

Jesse walked over, and handed Hanzo his gun.

"Little swicheroo?" Jesse said.

Very, very few people had shot the storm bow, and very few people had shot the peacekeeper. Hanzo figured Jesse was trying to convay some subtext regrading trust.

Or maybe, Jesse just really, really wanted a crack at the bow.

Hanzo traded Jesse his bow for the gun, fully prepared to win.

"Alright, the saftey's on right now. Lemme teach you how to turn it-" Jesse started, but was interrupted by Hanzo shooting once at the cap of the Gatorade bottle so it launched into the air, and then hitting it again while is was airborne.

' _That second shot could have been more centered. Strike it down heartlessly next time like you did with Genji._ '

"So, what will I be receiving on the off chance that I win?" Hanzo asked, enjoying the look of awe on Jesse's lovable face.

' _Lovable? Really? Pathetic. Refrain from allowing yourself to be distracted._ '

Jesse's awe was replaced with a smile.

"Gimme the bow." he said.

The hard-tempered Japanese of Hanzo's inner thoughts juxtaposed with the playful nature of Jesse's spoken English.

Hanzo handed Jesse his bow, arrow pre-nocked. The Gatorade bottle was lost, so Hanzo replaced it with Fareeha's forgotten thermos. Normally, Hanzo respected company property unlike  _some people_ , but if Jesse managed to hit anything with a bow, Hanzo would eat his own pants. Jesse fiddled with the riser, seemingly uncertain.

"Are you educated in such weaponry?" Hanzo asked.

"I used to have a toy crossbow when I was a few feet shorter. I recon it can't be that different."

With noticeable difficulty, Jesse pulled back on the string and let an arrow fly that not only missed the target, but landed only 20 feet from their toes.

He didn't have the arm strength for it. Few did.

But he did look cute with the bow.

' _Are you a child?_ '

"I was wrong when I assumed you would not manage to hit anything." said Hanzo. "You successfully stuck down the pesky outer-shell of our planet."

"Don't sass me, Shimada." Jesse answered, flashing a grin.

"I believe you are simply upset that I can fire both a bow, a gun, and my mouth better than you."

"Trash talk from the garbage man. Learn to respect your elders, cutie." said Jesse.

' _In this context, his use of a pet name was less than meaningless. It was sarcastic, which makes it all the more inexcusable that you enjoyed it._ '

"I am older than you." Hanzo replied.

"Shit. Forgot you were my senpai, Hanzo-sama-san-chan." 

"Ooof. You ought to spend less time with Miss Song."

"Hey, me and D.Va get along great. She's been teachin' me all these Korean words like 'annyeong' and 'yaoi'."

"That is not-"

"And we discuss politics and speculate 'bout the affects of technology on-" Jesse interrupted.

"Is that what you call you two ingesting copious amounts of marijuana, eating all of the Doritos, watching Star Trek-" Hanzo interrupted right back.

"Star Trek's got lottsa politics and speculation-" 

"And then after she falls asleep, proceeding to show up at my door to tell me you are worried you will never be as "fucking cool and brave as Kurt Russel under John Carpender's direction", then start tearing up over-"

"That happened one time." Jesse exclaimed, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"I can assure you that the specificity I provided would not be possible if it had only happened on one occasion." Hanzo replied. "In any case, you are in my debt."

"Let's go on a walk." Jesse responded, pressing down on his earpiece. "Hey, Ana, you awake?...Hanzo and me are gonna go on a walk...Alright, you ping us if there's trouble...Thanks, mam."

"I did not agree to-"

"Over here looks nice." Jesse called out, walking towards the border-wall. Hanzo pretended to be more upset about the situation, and followed.

Jesse and Hanzo swapped weapons and helped one another down the wall with a rope, leaving it up for when they needed to return. Jesse led the way through a cliff path composed of large ice chunks and frozen dirt that quickly became populated with small, chirping birds and a few furry creatures that darting in and out from behind the weather-warped pines.

The path was about ten feet wide, hanging over a smooth, icy cliff-side that looked to be about a seventy-degree drop into a forest a few hundred yards below. The ice was a pretty, bluish white that glowed under the sunlight. 

"Where are you taking me?" Hanzo asked. 

"Nowhere in particular, sweetheart. Best place to be sometimes."

Hanzo walked ahead of Jesse, and stuck his hand into a poff of snow to lower his body heat.

"Hang on, don't step there." Jesse said, putting his hand on Hanzo's shoulder.

"Why not?"

"There's a snowfly right by your foot, and although I can't say I have much faith that lil' bugs lead rich, cognitive lives, it helps me sleep at night not to risk killing em'."

"You make unusual choices for a man in your line of work." Hanzo observed.

Jesse bent down over the snowfly, cupping his hands around the tiny creature. Jesse admired his new friend with fascination, and Hanzo caught himself staring.

"I'm being blackmailed, Hanz." Jesse replied, eyes still on the bug.

"Do you think me so oblivious as to not notice the mercenary work you sneak off to do on the side?"

Jesse scratched the back of his head with his metal hand, the snowfly resting in the palm of his flesh one. 

"So, I repeat. You lead a strange life for a man with such an insufferable moral high-ground." Hanzo restated. 

"Never really thought of it." 

"Yes you have."

"Yes, I have and do. And then I get a drink."

If it was anyone else he respected, Hanzo would have backed off at this point. But he happened to know that Jesse preferred his company with a little bite. And it as nice to be prying, instead of pried.

"When you pull a trigger, what are you motivated by? When you cauterize a wound left by a different trigger, what are you motivated by?" Hanzo asked.

"Why you wanna know so bad?" 

Jesse was going to need some coaxing.

"A foolish man does not take the time to understand his own motives." said Hanzo. "You are not a foolish man."

If smiles could make noise, Jesse's could have been heard all the way to base.

"Do not make me regret saying so." Hanzo followed. Jesse winked and Hanzo could have just fucking died.

"Despite some mistakes I might'a made when I was younger, I pride myself in knowing that the people I choose to kill are a threat to more lives than they're worth."

"Are you suggesting that there is an equation behind your actions?" Hanzo asked, knowing only a fool would say yes.

"Yeah, sure." answered Jesse The Fool.

"Elaborate."

"I ain't suggesting I know the equation, but think all the shit I do can be evaluated on how beneficial it is to society, and I hope drunken speculation of what that equation is, instead of, I dunno, blind emotion, is the real core of my choices. Why you askin' me this?"

"Because your bug friend could very likely be carrying a deadly virus which ends up acting as the catalyst of a million deaths. It is improbable, but Talon members do reside near here."

"But Jimmy's so cute. He wouldn't do that." Jesse replied, laughing darkly. "Why you always gotta mess with my head like this, pumpkin?"

' _Why must you always mess with mine?'_ Hanzo thought.

"Look, I don't know if I wanna get too far into 'circle of life' politics with ya'll, but yeah, I gotcha. Morals are annoying." Jesse said. He put "Jimmy" safely down and pushed forward. Hanzo followed.

"If only we could do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, no matter how destructive, with no negative social connotations. Is that so much to ask?" Hanzo added, the two of them snorting as they walked. Hanzo allowed himself a certain amount of playfulness around Jesse. The man just seemed to find it so endearing that Hanzo couldn't resist.

' _Undisciplined_.'

"So what do you suggest we do, Hanz?" Jesse asked when he caught his breath. "Divide the value of an insect's life with the small chance it's the Talon kicker behind Armageddon?"

"Aaaugh, no. Too complicated, and I simply cannot bring myself to care. Which is why I focus on helping bees. It is beneficial for everyone involved, rendering the situation less complex." Hanzo lied.

"You ever even seen a honey bee, Hanz?" 

"Let me rephrase. That is why I  _should_   focus on helping bees."

"You remember Mei's presentation?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Hanzo had fallen asleep during word three of Mei's "Why bees are friends :) " presentation, and stayed asleep until the chaos had erupted. Jesse grinned.

"I shoulda taken a nap like you did." he said with a smirk.

"I seem to remember my slumber being interrupted when _someone_ pitched a plan to commit genocide against the human race, their justification being that there are far more bees than human beings." Hanzo recollected, staring at Jesse with accusation.

"I didn't really wanna do that, I ain't some Facebook hippy. I was just bored and I wanted to talk."

"It was a poor solution, anyway. The apes would only take over after a few million years and repeat all of humanity's mistakes."

"Listen, Hanz," Jesse started, re-positioning himself closer to the cliff's edge, so that he was facing Hanzo dead on. "I-"

A crack rang out along with a yelp, and suddenly, Jesse was no longer in sight.

Hanzo stupidly lept forward towards where Jesse had been, heard another crack, and was met with the same fate. An uncomfortable, icy, shaped like the top half of a cubic parabola, fifty miles-an-hour fate.

' _I wonder if god cares for me._ ' Hanzo thought as he slid on his butt, knowing the answer was no. Guess he was going to hell. He was content with that.

He could see Jesse sliding about fifty feet below him. Hanzo could just make out that he had one hand on his hat, a symbol of his priorities. 

The ground was maybe a hundred feet away. Hanzo shifted his weight to dodge a patch of growth popping up through the ice. They could survive this, maybe even without any broken bones. Hanzo's heart pounded as adrenaline swarmed his system, and harsh wind burned his face.

The landing was going to be difficult, even though the slope was calming into a wide, flat ground. He could already see Jesse slowing down, using his spurs. A split second later, Jesse was resting comfortable and statically, a foot away from a large tree that could have killed him had he been going a just a bit faster. Jesse looked to be getting into a position to catch Hanzo. That wouldn't do.

Shifting his shoulder-blades together and chest out allowed Hanzo access to two arrows from his quiver. Flipping around in a terrifying whirl to face the mountain, Hanzo pushed the spiky fronts of his shoes and tips of the arrows into the ice, losing a layer of skin from his knees and snapping the arrows in the process. He slid gracefully to a stop in front of Jesse.

"Holy fucking shit." Jesse said. To Hanzo's surprise, his companion was laughing his ass off.

"What-"

"Why on earth would you come after me?" Jesse asked between laughs, his eyes brightening in amazement.

"Someone had to deliver the body." Hanzo answered, getting to his feet and brushing snow from his legs like he hadn't just looked a painful, pointless death in the eyes.

Hanzo was more that a little surprised when he was lifted off the ground in an embrace.

"Goddamn, that was the most fun I've had in a long while. Holy shit." Jesse exclaimed.

Hanzo wished Jesse being such a godless lunatic wasn't somehow endearing. He stayed stiff in Jesse's arms.

"Oh, sorry there." said Jesse, placing Hanzo back on the ground.

Hanzo awkwardly straightened his clothing while Jesse examined their new location.

"And that landing, with the arrows?" Jesse continued, still smiling. "Clever little thing."

Hanzo's ability to think was momentarily lost at the complement.

' _Which is exactly why you are not clever._ '

"And here I was thinking you only spent time in my company for my supple breasts." Hanzo replied. He had been on the the fence about whether to defuse the tension with a serious comment or a ridiculous one, but when Jesse snorted, Hanzo felt content with his choice.

' _Childish._ '

They were surrounded by pine trees. Twenty feet away from their toes laid the glassy oval of a partially-frozen pond, maybe about fifty feet wide.

"I will try to get a grasp of our location." Hanzo said, searching for a tree to scale.

"Yeah, you're pretty good at that." 

Hanzo climbed one of the larger trees, the frozen bark biting at his hands. About thirty feet up, Hanzo was free to gaze up to where they had fallen from. He traced a path back up the mountain.

He also saw a small, brown shed with a tilted roof that looked less like someone's home and more like a temporary research space for when the cold got too intense. A bit further to the right sat a pair of foxes. Mother and child, their delicate beauty apparent in their clever faces and elegant bodies. They were snuggling. Hanzo pretended not to care.

' _Pathetic. You have nothing to gain from admiring those dirty animal's kinship. Grow up_.'

Hanzo hopped down from the tree.

"Well?" Jesse asked, snow melting in his stubble.

"About a mile that way, the slope is shorter and less intense. We can climb. Maybe two hundred feet. Not too dangerous, but somewhat physically taxing."

Without warning, a briefcase dropped to their feet.

The briefcase they were looking for. 

Jesse and Hanzo made quick eye contact, and Jesse blinked twice and put a hand on his gun, which Hanzo knew to mean 'Back to back, one second from now."

Which is why Hanzo was so surprised when Jesse, instead of turning around, took a seat.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asked in a hushed whisper.

"Ok, Hanzo. You know how you've already had to bail me out once today?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"You have pretty hair, you know that?" Jesse answered, his eyes falling shut. He collapsed forward. There was a pink dart in his back, and from Jesse's actions, Hanzo gathered that it was a tranquilizer.

"This ground is mighty fine." said Jesse, into the snow.

Hanzo was on his own for this one. 

Hanzo re-scaled the tree as another dart wizzed by.

Two interchangeable ground soldiers came forward, wrapped in the grey and black armors of lower-level talon workers. Hanzo readied his bow, but was forced to disengage when a shot rang out, followed by a sharp pain in his left shoulder. 

' _You really let yourself get shot?_ ' 

' _I have no time for you. Danger lurks._ ' Hanzo thought back, and the voice subsided. He quickly examined his shoulder. He couldn't see the wound very well, but it seemed the bullet had only grazed him and didn't lodge in his flesh.

"Oh shit, isn't that the cowboy from all those wanted posters? We could get a raise for this." one of the soldiers said to the other. 

"Let's take a selfie with him!" the second replied. Hanzo rolled his eyes. They seemed to have forgotten he was there. Hanzo loaded an arrow, but as he let it fly, the patch of bark supporting his left foot gave way and he was forced to quickly readjust himself. The arrow soared overhead and harmed no one. There went his cover.

"Hang on, stop talking, Ralph. Did you hear that?" the first solider said.

"Hear what?" the companion replied.

"I thought I just heard someone mutter some weird shit like ' _the dragon watches_ ', and then a crack."

"Oh yeah, we forgot about the overdressed one."

Hanzo, the overdressed one? Had they not seen the grown, two hundred pound man in spurs on the ground next to them?

No, they must have seen Jesse, because they both put their respective arms under his shoulders and started dragging him towards the icy water. Hardly a practical play. Maybe it was their first day.

"I will not hesitate to shoot you both if his body so much as touches that pond." Hanzo announced, making himself seen and rolling a crit in intimidation. He nocked two arrows, and angled them appropriately.

"He can't shoot us both." one of the fucking stupid dumb stupid idiot dumb soldiers said to the other as they tossed Jesse's limp body into the lake. Jesse was too heavy to be supported by the ice, smashing it and sinking under the surface.

Hanzo shot them both.

Hanzo cursed at himself for not shooting earlier. Although in his defense, he had not expected them to make such a suicidal decision. Why these idiots had the case in the first place, he couldn't be sure. For all Hanzo knew, this could be a decoy. Either way, it wasn't really his main concern.

The discomfort in his shoulder and what they did to Jesse made it a lot easier not to ponder over what to do with the soldier's unconscious bodies, which were bleeding out into the ice. Their team would probably come pick them up, and if not, Hanzo had better things to worry about. He returned to the ground, wincing as his shoulder burned from the impact.

This was not going to be fun. 

He traveled swiftly to the pond, quickly scanning for Jesse's body. Unfortunately, the ice blocked his view, and he had no idea how deep the water was. Hanzo stripped out of his clothing and boots, placing them at the side of the pond for easy retrieval later. The ice was thin enough that a few quick arrows broke the chucks into small enough sizes for access in and out.

He gritted his teeth, stepping forward into the snow without anything shielding his feet. It burned, but it was only the start.

Hanzo stepped into the pond. The water came up to his waist, and the transition in temperature was about as graceful as William Shatner's switch from stage to camera.

Who needed testicles, anyway?

Trudging for a few seconds, Hanzo's leg brushed against Jesse's body. Hanzo took a deep breath, and dived under.

With his head submerged, Hanzo's brain screamed until he started to see new colors he hadn't known existed and would never see again.

His arms locked around Jesse. Attempting to transfer him to land was difficult, especially with the temperature and his own wounded shoulder. But getting both of his hands underneath the man, Hanzo managed to push him out with a loud splash.

Hanzo scrambled out of the pond, stepping on his clothes and drying his hands off to regain a smidgen of dexterity. He examined Jesse, who was on his back, motionless. There was a pulse.

Fear was blooming in Hanzo's chest. 

' _You are a warrior, not a schoolboy. Fear is for the weak._ '

One of Jesse's hands was wrapped around his gun, and his other was frozen to his hat, tipping it. Jesse had promised everyone more than once that this was how he would go out.

It took only three quick strikes to the chest to get him coughing up water and breathing again. Hanzo let out a sigh of relief.

Hanzo pried Jesse's gun and hat from his hands, and then proceeded to struggle with stripping off the many layers and holsters Jesse wore on his person before they froze. Getting Jesse's boots off was the hardest part. The man loved thick leather. Hanzo figured he should probably remove Jesse's cybernetic arm, but didn't know how. When Jesse's clothing was removed, Hanzo looked away from the man's waist to avoid seeing what he was not supposed to see.

"'Leas tke m' outta dnner, frsth, suhgar." Jesse stumbled, mouth frozen. He was shivering violently. Hanzo slipped back into his own clothes as quickly as possible, and refused to respond.

Was it wrong to be filled with praise by a semi-conscious Jesse's broken flirtation, when he obviously needed some level of medical attention?

' _Extremely. What is the matter with you?_ '

"There is a small shelter, a few hundred feet from here." Hanzo said, informing Jesse of the free real-estate. "We will wait there until help arrives. Can you walk?" Hanzo asked.

"Wih you 'round, m' walkn' on air." Jesse answered. The tranquilizer must have not quite worn off yet. Hanzo slipped his shoes back on, and tossed Jesse's clothes over his shoulder. He put Jesse's hat back on his head, and grabbed the briefcase.

"At least make yourself useful and contact the others, McCree. No slacking off." he ordered, pressing down on Jesse's earpiece, wiping the ice chips from the man's face, and scooping him up.

"They gave me the good shit, Hanz." Jesse replied. "Imma little sad it's already wearing off."

He still sounded a little stiff, but it was much easier to understand what he was saying.

"Ana? I need healing." Jesse said over his earpiece. "Oh...Alright...Nah, we'll live...And hey, we got the case...Yeah, I know, I'll tell ya about it later...Sounds good, mam'. Mouth freezin'. See you soon."

The walk wasn't too long, but Jesse and their wet stuff was heavy, and Hanzo was not warm and toasty himself. Arriving at his destination, the shed looked to be about 20 feet by 20 feet of space. Hanzo kicked down the door with ease, deposited Jesse inside, and used arrows to nail the broken door closed to avoid the heavy breeze.

Jesse went limp with exhaustion, his body white and stripped with lines of pink where Hanzo's arms had been. Hanzo deposited him on the floor.

The inside wasn't warm, but the lack of wind had Hanzo breathing out a pleased gasp. There was one small, thick window that brought a little light in, but the 'Live, Laugh, Love' sign hanging on the inside of the front door made Hanzo wish it was darker.

He quickly searched several small cabinets present on the rightmost wall of the shack. They contained several useful items, like a first-aid kit, two camping sleeping bags, a metallic blanket, a human eye floating in a jar, and multiple issues of Cosmo.

The inside of the newfound shelter suggested it was only used for a few weeks out of the year. There were a few notebooks scattered about that Hanzo was too cold to read.

Hanzo rolled out the first sleeping bag in the middle of the wooden floor, and laid the second one on top of it. He unzipped it, dragged Jesse inside, and zipped it back up. Hanzo rung out his pony tail, feeling his hair crunch as parts of it had started to freeze.

The air started to burn Hanzo's skin as the shack heated a degree or two. Jesse had been shivering uncontrollably ever since he got out of the pond, but Hanzo waited several painful minutes before getting into the sleeping bag with him to avoid shocking either of their bodies with the temperature difference.

Finally after he could bare it anymore, he slipped off his shoes and slid next to Jesse. Hanzo refused to feel any pleasure he might normally experience in the situation, instead focusing on the painful burn in his hands and feet, which were on fire while the rest of his body was too cold. He tossed the silver blanket over them, adding an extra layer of comfort.

' _It is your own fault that you live a life so lonely that you're this starved for even a smidgen of human touch._ '

Jesse's hand had once again frozen around the rim of his hat, the moron. Hanzo carefully pried his fingers away, moving "Veronica" a few feet away from them to dry. Jesse disengaged his cybernetic arm from his body and pushed it deep under the covers, presumably to warm it faster and get the cold metal off his body. There was just enough room for them to both fit, but not without bumping a few elbows into each other's space.

"This bag ain't big enough for the two of us." Jesse said, drawling out the 'drawl.

"In that case, I will use the other."

"Oh god no, I'll freeze. I've just always wanted to say that."

"I was hoping these conditions would result in you losing your sense of humor. I see that is not the case."

"Cruel man. I would run myself into the nearest meat grinder if I got you in Mystery Heros." Jesse replied, curling into Hanzo.

"Jesse is a girl's name." Hanzo shot back as Jesse sucked the warmth from his body. Hanzo resisted the urge to wrap his arms his company, but hoped it was requested. 

' _Pervert_. '

"What did Ana say?" asked Hanzo.

"They hit a snag. Not a big one, we'll all be home in time for breakfast, but you and I gotta wait out for a few hours." Jesse answered, draping his arm over Hanzo's waist. Hanzo felt his face grow warm. They'd never done this anywhere close to sober before.

And Jesse was very, very naked.

' _Still a pervert. He almost died, and you lay here getting off to helping him survive._ '

"Unfortunate, but we will live. I am disheartened we cannot help our team, though." Hanzo replied.

"Hanzo?"

"Yes?"

There was a pause.

"I'm real cold." Jesse said.

"As am I. Hopefully, we will soon find other similarities between our people to discuss."

"No, I mean I'm  _really_  cold."

"What do you need, Jesse?"

Jesse paused again.

"Look, you've seen me naked." he answered.

_Oh._

"Oh." Hanzo said.

Hanzo stripped down with all the grace of a teenage girl before her first gynecological examine in the sleeping bag, not wanting to expose himself to the cold. When finished, he refused to look at his company and failed not to flush.

"Put this between us." Hanzo instructed, passing Jesse his gi. Jesse complied, and once again wrapped his arm around Hanzo after adjusting the silk cloth. Hanzo positioned himself on his side, facing away from the other man to avoid visual confrontation. Jesse's knees traced the backs of his own and Hanzo felt him give a little sigh of relief.

Hanzo had to admit, this was much warmer. Jesse's skin was ice cold, but underneath, his blood was starting to heat up.

Chunks of minutes pass. Jesse's shivering subsided.

"You're hurt." said Jesse, tracing his fingers next to the gash in Hanzo's shoulder. 

"It is nothing." Hanzo replied, the words rolling naturally off his tongue. The skin where Jesse's fingers were burned pleasantly, and then shamefully.

"Ana said it was gonna be a few hours, Let me patch you up."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"I got steady hands. Get me a needle and thread."

"I am not getting up."

Hanzo felt a drop of blood run down his back. Now that he was warming up, the blood was no longer slowed by the chill.

"I ain't gonna leave you to bleed all over us, huckleberry."

Now it wasn't just the psychical heat that was making Hanzo warm. Cursed dopamine tickled his senses.

After a moment, Hanzo stiffened, feeling the shame and self-loathing wash over him once more. It was doubled as his head was turned by Jesse, who reached out to tuck a loose lock of black hair behind his ear.

"Let me-" Jesse started to say, but stopped when he saw Hanzo's angry grimace.

It was too much. Hanzo couldn't deal with this much affection. Especially from Jesse, especially now.

"Why do you insist on calling me such things?" Hanzo asked, feeling his eyes burn. Jesse looked startled.

"What do you-"

"Why do you touch me like this? It is inappropriate."

Jesse immediately removed his hand.

Getting angry felt good. As did watching Jesse try and fail to cover up his mortified face.

But Hanzo's anger was quickly replaced with sadness, and the inevitable regret that came with getting loosing his temper. Because Jesse hadn't deserved his harsh words, especially after trying to help.

"I didn't know it upset you so much." Jesse replied with a serious expression. "It ain't somethin' I'm particularly conscious of. I can assure you I didn't mean nothing by it."

"Oh." Was all Hanzo can say, and he mentally smacked himself for suddenly sounding so disappointed.

Hanzo flipped once again so that he was on his side, facing away from Jesse. Silence blossomed in the room, rendering the situation more uncomfortable than it already was.

"I apologize for snapping at you." said Hanzo. "I should have made my complaint calmly, and years ago."

"It's alright. I'll switch up the way I talk around you. I ain't that hard."

Hanzo groaned loudly, pressing his face into the floor.

"You ain't gotta answer this, Hanzo, but can I ask why it bothers you so much?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo was quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out how to voice his thoughts without giving himself away.

"Before I became acquainted with you," Hanzo started slowly, "no one had ever spoken to me in such a manor. I am accustom to the terms and gestures being used only to invoke intimacy."

There was another pause.

"I find that it usually reminds people of their parents. But I guess in your case, uh, never mind." replied Jesse. "Again, I'm sorry. Guess there's always a new way to be more self-aware."

Jesse thought it was his fault. Jesse, who's always been kind with him, even after learning his history, who taught Hanzo new things every day, who made him laugh, who had saved his life countless times, who challenged him, who just  _fucking got it-_

"You have no need to apologize. It just did not seem right for me to carry on having such closeted emotional responses without you knowing." 

As soon as the words left his mouth, Hanzo froze a second time.

He was close enough to Jesse that he could actually hear the man's mouth opening and eyebrow raising with uncertainty, but Hanzo hadn't blown his cover yet.

"When I specified with 'closeted emotional reaction', I was referring to a positive one, not negative." Hanzo said, turning to face Jesse in the hopes that his confidence would assure him not being caught in a lie. Until he realized he misspoke.

"Wait." Hanzo continued, feeling the heat pool in his ears as he made things worse. "I got that backwards. I was referring to a negative emotional response. Purely negative-"

"You....You like it." Jesse interrupted. In wasn't a question

Hanzo's eyes went wide. He felt them flashing with anger, rage, anything to make Jesse drop the subject, before he realized his reaction was simply confirming the suspicion. His eyes automatically scanned the room for an escape route. But he wasn't getting out of this one without freezing to death.

"You're ashamed." Jesse followed.

"Please do not continue engaging me in this subject." Hanzo said, rolling back over and burying his face in the downy sleeping bags.

"I recon that all people need love, Hanz. Even you."

Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep his emotions steady and face dry.

"It ain't a big deal." Jesse continued.

"You have my apologies. We should not be forty-year-old men having a teenager's sleep-over."

"I ain't forty for another month, speak for yourself."

In any other circumstance, Hanzo would have built a shell around himself and retreated. However, there wasn't much he could do, so he reluctantly excepted his fate.

"I have lived for four decades, and yet I possess the emotional integrity of a child. How am I not to find that loathsome?" he asked.

Jesse straight up laughed at that.

"Cause we all fuckin' do." Jesse replied. "Please, Hanz, the only difference between my destructive subconscious and your destructive subconscious is the fact that your's ain't voiced by JK Simmons."

"What are you insecure about, then?"

' _Why do you require so much validation, Hanzo?_ '

"I dunno." Jesse answered, seemingly uncomfortable. "My nose is kinda big sometimes."

"Do not attempt to deceive me."

"Hanzo, what do you want me to say, that I worry a lot that I ain't worthy of being alive?"

Hanzo was silent for a second.

"What-" he started before Jesse interrupted. 

"Hold on, that sounded too dark. Lemme start over so you don't thing I'm one hard shot a' way from ending it." Jesse said. "Look. I got all these ideas of what a man should be, ya know?"

"I have taken a glace or two into your insufferable sense of righteousness, yes."

"Yeah, yeah. You remember that equation we were talking about earlier?"

Hanzo shifted onto his back to match Jesse. It was a nice distraction from his humiliation, lying side by side and gazing at the dingy ceiling.

"I recall." said Hanzo. 

"I got this fear that if I were to sit down and do the math, countin' how much good I've really done, and then look how much bad shit I've done and how many resources I've consumed to keep on kicking that could have potentially gone to someone else, I'll find the best thing I could do for this planet is never have been born." Jesse replied.

"I can see why you drink so much."

"Just like mama used to say."

Hanzo snorted, and Jesse chuckled. The mood felt a bit lighter.

"How do you cope?" Hanzo asked. Jesse let out a quieter, darker chuckle.

"I don't, always. Most of the time, I don't think about it. I like the feeling I get when I don't step on a bug, and I like the feeling I get when I resolve an unjust situation, even if my only option is violence."

"Do not expect me to say this more than once, but you are a good man." Hanzo started, feeling a rave bubble within him. "I am not a philosopher, but according to any ideologies that I would not actively condemn, you are a worthy member of the human race. I have seen you challenge many unjust systems, and unquestionably put others before yourself on many occasions, plenty of which you were not aware I was looking. Just being around you gives me hope that humans are inherently kind creatures, or at the very least, capable of learning. I have never met a man who so purely believes and acts on the notion that all demographics of humans are created equal and should be treated as such, and in all honesty, before I met you, it seemed like an unbelievable outlook on life. And because of my respect for both you and your altruistic sensibilities, I would not lie to you. I am pleased to hear you question yourself in such a strenuous manner, but displeased with how the intensity often causes you pain. For the love of god, will you say something?"

A smile slowly formed on Jesse's face, covering the look of awe that had presented itself during Hanzo's monologue.

"That...I recon that might be the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say." said Jesse.

"Yes, and it will continue with that ranking even after I have uttered my last breath."

"Once was all I needed, pumpkin." Jesse said, still smiling like an idiot before his face shifted. "Wait, I mean, Hanzo. Unless you want me to-"

Hanzo groaned loudly.

"Please allow me the liberty of changing the subject away from this minefield of humiliation." said Hanzo.

"Be my goddamn guest."

Hanzo thought for a second, and realized he was bothered by something.

"Those ideologies you proposed. Do you believe to justify a man's existence, he must not have an overall negative impact on the world around him?" he said.

"Sounds mighty harsh out loud, don't it?" Jesse replied.

"I hope for the sake of you not becoming overwhelmed with dispirit, you take the time to understand I am a man who has certainly not spent his time so far being positively beneficial."

"Hanz, I could make some kinda convoluted statement about how you're still just, cause you got plenty a' time left to right your wrongs, but what it really comes down to is that if we hold other people to the same standards we hold ourselves to, we're gonna be pretty damn disappointed."

"Thank you, dear grandmother. Now the other children will no longer make fun of me for not being able to control my emotions."

Jesse sighed while Hanzo snickered.

"What you say to yourself, would you ever say to anyone else?" Jesse asked.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"But I understand the point you are attempting to make through the holes in your delivery."

"I understand the point you are attempting to to make through the holes in your delivery." Jesse mocked, robotically attempting to imitate Hanzo's way of speaking. "My name is Hanzo Shimada and I do not use contraptions and I sometimes refer to myself in the third person, partly because I was brought up to take myself too seriously, but mostly because I am too proud to admit I am kind of socially awkward. Yuga-fuckin'-wakadecookalre." 

"Charmingly ignorant, as ususal." Hanzo replied. But he felt a small smile break across his face.

"Thanks. I can also do a great Walken."

"Impressions and those who are uncultured do not mix well."

Jesse looked over at Hanzo with an eyebrow raised.

"Oh, I'm uncultured? Do you remember what you said to me that one fuckin' time in California?" he asked.

"Which occasion? We have been many times."

"We were at the capital."

"I do not know what city that is. Why would I know anything about American geography?"

"Ain't you supposed to be educated or somethin'?" 

Hanzo groaned in response.

Jesse was silent for a few moments. Hanzo prepared himself for a 'who is more uncultured' discussion, but was surprised when he heard his companion muttering quietly to the unfortunate tune of Turkey in the Straw.

" _Baton Rough, Louisiana; Indianapolis, Indiana; and Columbus is the capital of O-hi-o._ " sang Jesse.

"What are you doing?" 

"Tryin' to remember the capital of California.  _Montgomery, Alabama; south a' Helena, Montana, and-_ " 

"Just tell me what it was I said, and we can reminisce." Hanzo interrupted.

"I can't remember the capital of California and it's buggin' me. _And there's Denver, Colorado under Boise, Ida-_ "

"Must you really-"

" _Texas has Austin, then we go North; to Taxachusetts' Boston_ ," Jesse voice cracked, so he slid down an octave, " _And Albany, New York_ -"

"Why do you have this piece memorized?" Hanzo desperately cut in.

"I learnt it in school. Stop interrupting. _Tallahassee, Florida and_..."

Hanzo stopped listening, saving himself from insanity. 

He had never imagined Jesse as a child before, and the thought of him ever being in school seemed surreal. Hanzo could only imagine him in detention. The image seemed somehow endearing, so he stopped thinking about it.

Hanzo checked in on Jesse to see if he was done.

"... _Juno's in Alaska and there's Lincoln in_.."

Hanzo checked out on Jesse, and stayed checked out for the next thirty-nine seconds with an enduring look of hideous disgust on his face that only seemed to encourage Jesse's antics.

"... _Iowa's got Des Moines; Sacramento California_ -" Jesse stopped singing. "Sacramento! Sacramento. That's the capital of Cali. Damn."

"I do not recall ever traveling to Sacramento." Hanzo lied, remembering the story Jesse had originally referred to. Hanzo didn't need to revisit the time he had gotten the English words for 'Cathedral' and 'Brothel' mixed-up.

"Well, I don't recall what were we talkin' bout."

"You were going to fix my injury." 

"Oh yeah, gotta do that." Jesse said, thankfully allowing the subject to change.

"Close your eyes." Hanzo requested.

"Why--oh." replied Jesse, as Hanzo departed from the sleeping bag.

The air outside was not pleasant. The cold quickly cut through the heat radiating off Hanzo. He found the first-aid kit as quickly as possible, and returned to a once again shivering Jesse. Using all of his willpower, Hanzo rung out Jesse's wet clothing and placed it over the sleeping bag, but under the metallic blanket to dry.

There was a mutual sigh of relief as Hanzo re-entered the bag.

Hanzo opened the kit, which was about as big as a tackle-box, assuming the tack-box was about a fourth of the size of a microwave. Inside, he found disinfectant, and a needle. But no thread. He passed the needle and rubbing alcohol to Jesse.

"Do not drink it." Hanzo instructed.

"Hey now, I won't get Bukowski'ed on just anything. Is there thread?"

"No."

"Lemme look."

Hanzo sighed and let Jesse look. Jesse also found no thread, but wasted seven seconds of both of their lives. Fourteen seconds in total.

Jesse reattached his cybernetic arm.

"Can you untie your hair for me, sw--Hanzo?" Jesse asked, and Hanzo didn't miss the stumble.

"Why? Why do you never precede your requests with a reason, McCree?"

"Keeps you on your toes, don't it?"

Hanzo sighed and undid the ribbon holding his hair in place. To his surprise, it relieved some tension.

"Ow." Hanzo said as Jesse plucked a hair from his head. He said it again as Jesse plucked another, and then around again a third time.

"Just put them back when you are finished." Hanzo joked as Jesse loaded the needle with the thin strands.

Jesse rubbed down Hanzo's shoulder and the needle with alcohal. The stinging was a reminder that this wouldn't be fun.

"How bad is it?" Hanzo asked. He still hadn't seen the gash.

"Bout an inch and a half long. Not too deep, but we better fix it up now 'case the team gets backed up a day or two."

Hanzo promised himself that he wasn't going to cry out. Warriors did not cry out.

"Augh!" Hanzo cried out, at the first hint of pressure.

"That was my finger, Hanz." Jesse replied.

"As that was the sound of me sneezing." 

Jesse chuckled, and began, lying down on his side with his knees locked behind Hanzo's.

Hanzo flinched a bit as Jesse worked, but the pain was bearable. This wasn't the first time Hanzo had received stitches while conscious, and not the first the time from Jesse.

But it is the first time they've both been naked for it. 

Jesse wasn't a seamstress, so the job was going to take a while. Hanzo was in favor of a distraction.

"I have a question." Hanzo asked.

"What's up?" Jesse answered, even slower than usual, which Hanzo took to indicate he was focusing.

"I promise you I am now asking out of curiosity rather than rage, but why do you refer to me in such an, hmm, risque manner?"

"Well, I-"

"I know. You speak to everyone in such a way. Allow me to rephrase my question. Why do you refer to everyone in such a risque manner?"

Jesse thought for a minute, and Hanzo heard him scratching his stubble. 

"I don't address everybody like that. Only people I think got sweet hearts."

He paused for another moment.

"And, I guess, a few people who I really, really don't." Jesse continued, and Hanzo assumed he was referring to his sarcastic usage of the word on Moira and Gabe.

With the next needle prick, Hanzo squirmed. To his surprise, Jesse's entire body stiffened.

Jesse rolled onto his backside, twisting over so that his torso was against Hanzo's back. It couldn't have been comfortable for him.

It wasn't for Hanzo, either. The new position had Jesse's hands shakier, and Hanzo yelped.

"Oh, sorry." Jesse said, getting onto his stomach before continuing with the next stitch.

Which was even worse. Hanzo yelped again.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asked, confused and in more pain than was necessary.

"Awww, look at that, your shoulder's already healing up. Let's mosey on off to bed." Jesse responded, turning on his side and away from the situation.

"McCree, I will kill you and myself if you do not explain to me why you are acting so strangely."

"Ain't I been humiliated enough for one day?" 

"No."

"Can we just wait," Jesse checked the watch he had drawn on his arm with Sharpi a day before, "ten minutes?"

"No."

Jesse sighed, and Hanzo's curiosity peaked.

"Look, Hanzo, you're real warm." Jesse said, like that was supposed to clear things up.

"I do not understand." Hanzo replied.

"Hanz, my body's waking up right now." Jesse continued sheepishly, like that was supposed to clear things up.

"I still do not understand."

Jesse groaned loudly.

"Hanzo. We're naked. Sometimes even if my mind don't want something, my body does. I ain't masturbated in two weeks. God almighty, do you understand what I'm layin' down?" said Jesse, like that was supposed to clear things up.

"No. Could you provide a more thorough explanation?" Hanzo answered, audibly on the edge of a giggle as the situation dawned on him.

"Oh, fuck off." 

"Should I be flattered?" 

"No. Could be Moira right now and I would be a rock. Actually, no, never mind." Jesse answered, and Hanzo pretended not to be slightly disappointed by his answer.

"Is two weeks really a lot for you?" Hanzo snickered.

"Yes, actually, some of us don't get ashamed halfway through and have to stop."

How the fuck did he know about that?

"Jesse, and I am only calling you 'Jesse' for the sake of the point I am about to make, we are past first name basis. Right now, I do not care how you do it, but please, I would like it if my shoulder was fixed, and there was no longer a needle hanging from my flesh." 

' _Also, you want to feel him. Disgusting._ '

Jesse sighed and rolled onto his side, positioning his legs and the cloth in between them to reduce the damage.

The sichuation was...prominent and Hanzo kept his face stone cold. At least Jesse was no longer hurting him more than necessary with the needle.

Hanzo had caught Jesse's scent before, during drunken hugs and tireless missions. But there was something erotic about being so engulfed in it. Images flashed before his eyes. A vivid, specific fantasy of turning around and tracing his finger over Jesse's mouth, and rolling his companion's bottom lip over his finger, feeling the inside-

' _Shameful, shameful. How would he react if he knew you were getting off to this, and with such abnormal fantasies? How disgusted would he be with you?_ '

' _Do you ever go away?_ ' Hanzo asked his subconscious.

' _No. You should thank me; as you would not be competent at all without my services._ '

Hanzo closed his eyes and groaned silently as shame overcame him, restricting his abilities to move. Jesse was babbling in the background, something he only did when he was uncomfortable. 

"...then Andrew Ryan fucked everything up by tryin' to control everything. Idiot ended up accidentally creating the black market. Now I ain't sayin' it's cause he contradicted all those traditional libertarian ideologies, but..." Jesse rambled.

' _How would your mother reacted if she knew this was what was going to come of her son, having disgusting, closeted sexual fantasies about a dear friend in a drastic situation? What about that kind old lady you havn't seen in decades who used to feed you and Genji cookies? Would she still have been kind to you if she knew this is where you would be in thirty years? Remember that time when you thought Fareeha was waving at you, but it turned out she was waving at Sayta? But you had already waved b_ -' 

"...so I'm sitting there, naked and covered in A1 stake sauce, and Mel Brooks turns to me and says..." Jesse continued, not helping.

' _What if your farther knew you also liked men, Hanzo? Would it be possible for him to be less proud of you?_ '

"...and then Bill Clinton pulled the cigar out and realized he could get both the centrist voters an' the demarcates by shiftin' to the right, which is why the democratic party has been growing more conservative over the years. Personally, I think politics would be a hell of a lot better if instead of having parties, we-"

"McCree." Hanzo interrupted. "I will request that before you continue speaking, you ask yourself if what you have to say is truly an improvement upon silence."

Jesse stopped babbling.

"I'm not gonna lie, this is pretty damn awkward." he responded with a snicker, and Hanzo chuckled, the tension of the situation breaking and his shame relieving. 

"Not gonna lie," Hanzo said, poorly imitating Jesse's dialect to the man's delight, "But this is your fault."

"Hey now. Don't tell me you wouldn't have the same issue."

"Oh, I have had this issue. I too was once thirteen." said Hanzo, in a light tone so Jesse would know he was joking.

"Just how do you do it?" Jesse asked.

"Self-loathing." Hanzo answered.

After a second of silence, Jesse let out a deep laugh.

Hanzo cracked a smile. Being honest felt good. At least for now.

"Glad to know you're the source of your own impotency." said Jesse.

"I am not imp--oh, never mind." Hanzo replied.

"Hey, right now, I'd trade ya."

"I will say, you are very quick to stand for a man your age. I envy your youth."

"Dry as my daddy's elbows." 

Finished sewing, Jesse's beard scratched against Hanzo's back as he broke the strands with his teeth and freed the needle. Hanzo rolled his shoulders a few times, familiarizing himself with the situation. He pretended not to notice that Jesse hadn't stopped pressing against him, even though the task that required it had been completed.

Hanzo looked over as Jesse pulled two fingers to his lips and sucked in a breath, only to push then away and gaze at his empty palm.

"I thought you were on patches." Hanzo said.

"Came off in the water. Right now, I'd settle for a bud off the sidewalk." 

"Would do wonders for your crow's feet." 

"I wish. But Angela's been aging me backwards, so that I won't "die" of "lung cancer". She doesn't get that I'd look better as a silver fox."

Hanzo snicked. 

"Alright, I'm outta banter and I'm tired, Hanz, tell me a story." said Jesse.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"I wanna bedtime story." Jesse pleaded, with the mocking likeness of a child.

Hanzo thought for a moment about grabbing one of the Cosmos and reading it aloud.

"Genji always used to ask me to read to him before we slept, when he was small." Hanzo said instead.

Jesse's "situation" softened against Hanzo at the mention of dear childhood memories. It seemed strangely polite, though Hanzo knew Jesse didn't really have that much control over it.

"Ain't that your parents job?" Jesse asked.

"They could not find any books that contained the correct morals they wanted to teach us. So to grant his request, I snuck out one night and grabbed one of our parent's novels."

"Wha'd ya find?" 

"I read to Genji one night from a novel of my father's that roughly translates into "How to Fix a Sexless Marriage'." answered Hanzo, unable to get the last few words out without chuckling. Jesse snickered.

"What'd he think of it?" he asked.

"Although his initial reaction was to cry and act uncomfortable around our parents for the next few months, I heavily suspect the incident was what shaped Genji into a reluctant warrior, but as I have heard, an attentive lover."

Jesse shook with laughter, which was an extreamly pleasant sensation against Hanzo's back.

"He was never meant to be a fighter, was he?" asked Jesse.

"Physically, he was capable. But that is all I can say." 

' _And you went and killed him. Now he lives as that machine._ '

"I recon it's about high nap time." Jesse said.

"We should stay alert. More talon members could be lurking by." 

"The door's nailed shut. Hanz, I'm either gonna sleep or I'm gonna engage you in a conversation about your robot prejudices."

"Fine."

Jesse once again wrapped his arms around his companion, resting his chin against Hanzo's hair. The metal of his cybernetic arm had heated, and his warm legs were twisted with Hanzo's. It was past the point of snuggling for just warmth.

Hanzo wasn't sure how he felt being the smaller spoon, but it the gesture was so affectionate that everything felt soft around the edges. Hanzo's heart fiddled while his body burned.

He fucking loved it.

Loved Jesse. 

' _Have you really, truly fallen in love? Have you learned nothing from the past? Even if he wanted to be with you, you lack the honor to deserve him._ '

 

"Do you want Ana to find us in this state?" asked Hanzo.

Jesse snored, already asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE: I was reading a other work called like "into the bunker" or something, fhat was a lot like this one (in plot, not in style). I don't remember who wrote it, but I'll say that any similarities between this thing any any fic with the word "bunker" in the title are purly conincidental


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning, this is where I stopped editing for the night cause I still have homework and I kept forgetting how to spell the word 'please'
> 
> Also this used to be just one chapter, but I thought it was too long

 ~~~~

After a nap, Hanzo was decently hungry. He removed himself from Jesse's tangled limbs, hating how conscious he was of where they where.

"Hwhut?" Jesse asked.

"The dragon hungers." Hanzo replied.

Jesse laughed himself awake while Hanzo pretended he had said that ironically. 

"I will gather our clothing and find something for us to eat." said Hanzo.

"Five more minutes." Jesse replied, rewrapping his limbs around Hanzo and resting his head on his chest.

Hanzo avoided uttering a small gasp at Jesse's adorable antics and came to his senses. Although he did allow Jesse five more minutes.

"Let me up." Hanzo said after the promised time had passed. "I am hungry and I have to pee."

"Ten more minutes." Jesse replied, tightening his grip.

"I will not hesitate to urinate on both of us if you do not let me go."

"Thad'be hot. Feel free."

Eyes widening, Hanzo grabbed his gi from between them and sprung up to his feet, leaving Jesse the Disgusting Pervert to giggle at Hanzo's disapproval.

~~~~

The sun had set. It wasn't as warm as Hanzo would have liked, but spending so much time sharing body heat with another had left him with a comforting glow. Hanzo sat perched in a tree, waiting for squirrles to present themselves. They had mutually decided on waiting out the night, as Ana already had their location and they were both too tired to climb in the dark, lugging along a brief case. She informed them she would grab them before midnight.

Jesse had found a guitar in the shed, and was fucking set.

Even now, Hanzo could hear him strumming away and singing a song about West Virginia or eloping a cow or something.

Bullseye. Hanzo pegged a squirl through the body. 

' _Could have been through the head. Could have been a cleaner kill, like your brother._ '

After another ten minutes, Hanzo collected his fallen game and made his way back to Jesse, the music aiding him.

By the time Hanzo returned, Jesse was adding another log to the fire he had built outside the shack. He was on his hands and knees, seeming to not give a shit who saw him naked. His clothing was lying next to the fire, and he was kneeling on his damp serape.

His butt was, admittably, stellar.

"Will you please cover yourself?" Hanzo asked, feeling his ears turn red at the sight. Jesse draped his shirt over his shoulders, leaving his ass uncovered. 

"Pants are not a suggestion." Hanzo followed, hoping the firm but amused tone of his words covered his fluster.

"Look, Imma big a fan a' pants as the next fucker, but I ain't too fond of how they're a social requirement. That's some bullshit." Jesse replied. "Also, my jeans are damp." 

Jesse sat down on a fallen, icy log, which couldn't have been comfortable without clothing. He returned to singing Big Rock Candy Mountain or whatever dumb shit he knew how to play while Hanzo skewered squirrels on his arrows, sitting cross-legged across from his companion with the fire in between them.

"This is Rocky Mountain High, Hanz, not Candy Mountain. It's John Denver. Learn yourself somethin'." said Jesse.

"Whatever. It is all the same." Hanzo replied, shoving a dead squirrel into the fire. It burst into flames.

"You gotta skin that." Jesse said, putting down the guitar and reaching for another squirrel. Finally slipping on his jeans, he pulled a knife out of his pocket and got to work. Hanzo looked away.

"When I kill something, I prefer to grant them the dignity of not having their insides apparent, and myself the luxury of not having to gaze upon the viscera." Hanzo said.

Jesse responded by biting down into the raw squirrel. Hanzo gagged, but handed Jesse another to gut. A moment later, Hanzo was roasting a dead animal on the open flames and feeling a little guilty.

Jesse cooked up another one, and they made a mocking toast with their skewers. 

"I believe it is safe to say we value our lives more than these poor creatures." Hanzo said, biting in.

"Nah. We value our own lack of mild discomfort more than their lives. Cause we wouldn't die if we didn't eat 'em." 

"Is this immoral, then?"

"Best not to think about it."

Hanzo smirked. Jesse broke out a grin that highlighted his laugh lines in a pleasant manner.

The squirrel wasn't bad. Not good, but not bad. Hanzo finished two before feeling satisfied.

Jesse had finished eating, and returned to playing more crappy John Denver songs.

"This is from Streetlife Serenade, Hanz. Denver didn't write that album." Jesse corrected.

"Are you positive?" replied Hanzo.

"It's Billy Joel. Educate yourself on the damn classics."

"Who?"

Jesse sighed and returned to strumming.

His singing voice was pleasant enough, even if it was just going on and on about nostalgia for middle-American border streets. It was apparent Jesse had burned time like this before. Hanzo was very, very tempted to curl up next to him.

' _Have you not spend enough time next to him? Cuddling is no longer practical. Let him be, refrain from overwhelming him with your neediness._ '

Feeling brave and selfish, Hanzo sat down next to Jesse and rested his head in his companion's lap, hoping he could blame his choice on his sleepiness. Jesse re-positioned his instrument, and ran a hand through Hanzo's hair before returning to playing.

Hanzo's chest swelled.

"I never thanked you for saving my life." Jesse said quietly, ceasing singing but continuing to strum out chords. Hanzo nearly purred.

"There is no need. After so many years, it is safe to say we have broken even." Hanzo replied.

"Believe it or not, my ability to live is important to me. So lemme thank you anyway, you Yankee piece a' shit. "

"No."

"You're damn insufferable, you know that Hanz? Sometimes I just wanna..." Jesse trailed off.

"Want to what?"

"You know what? Talk to your brother when you get back. Tell him I told you to."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Hanzo wanted more than anything to talk to Jesse about his issues speaking with Genji. But he was silent.

"What's wrong, parder?" asked Jesse as Hanzo went stiff.

"Nothing. Simply exhausted."

"Lyin' cold through your teeth."

Hanzo was quiet for a minute before speaking. 

"For whatever reason, my brother wishes me to reconnect with me. My guilt keeps me neglecting his wishes." he admitted.

"Sounds like a vicious cycle." Jesse responded. "Ever concidered breakin' it?"

"I wish he would just see me the way I see myself and move on. I will only-"

"Shud up."

"What?"

"Stop moping. You ain't above redemption. Spend time with Genji. It's gonna be real hard for you, your gonna feel like real shit every couple'a moments. Do it anyway."

Jesse's bossiness stung a bit, but Hanzo forced himself to welcome the advice.

"Very well." Hanzo said, and he felt Jesse smile.

"I recond I ain't never seen you as happy as when you talk about your brother."

There was a pause. Jesse traced his hand through Hanzo's hair again, massaging his scalp. Hanzo nearly purred.

"You remember that time you saved my ass at that Bat Mitzvah?" Jesse said, sparking a chuckle out of the both of them.

"I seem to recall that it was you who saved mine." Hanzo replied.

"We had each other's backs. I just wasn't expectin' that organ to transform into a tank."

"I very much enjoyed the part where you informed everyone of what time it was, and proceeded to miss every shot and fall unconscious to a stray sleeping dart."

"Aww, fuck off." Jesse replied, and they both snickered.

' _You laugh too much, Hanzo._ '

"Where was that stupid thing, anyway? I can't remember." Jesse continued.

"Colorado." Hanzo answered.

"Where in Colorado?"

"Near the capital."

"What's the capital of Colorado?" 

"I neither know, nor care, and I will ask you to do the same, as not to repeat past mistakes"

"I keep thinking Salem, but I know that ain't right."

They were both quiet for a minute before Jesse broke the silence.

" _Baton Rough, Louisiana;_  " he sung, again, " _Indianapolis_ _-_ "

Hanzo forcefully thrust his hand over Jesse's lips, and was unable to stop himself from laughing when he heard Jesse chorting against his palm.

"I see you two are having fun." Ana said, dropping down from a ship that Hanzo hadn't noticed arrive. Hanzo glanced up at her. She was looking at him like he was a jackpot, cuddled up against the coworker who's fault this whole thing was.

It was too late to pretend to be asleep.

"Greetings." Hanzo said, thankful that the dark was shielding the flush from his face while he removed himself from Jesse's lap.

"Mam." said Jesse, seemingly less shaken than Hanzo. Ana shot Hanzo a glace that he took to mean he was going to get some passive-aggressive comments about the situation she had found him in later. 

Hanzo cleared his throat.

"My apologies for us being unable to help on the mission." he said.

"Trust me. What ever happened today with you two will be more beneficial for everyone in the long run. You got the case?" Ana asked.

"You got nicotine?" Jesse replied, kicking the case her way.

Ana pulled a white patch out of her mom bag and handed it to Jesse, who stuck it on his arm.

"Good." Ana said. "Now, let's get back to base."

Jesse licked his patch.

~~~~

Ana had treated Jesse and Hanzo's scrapes and set them free to roam around the base. They had gone off their separate ways, but Jesse had given Hanzo a smile and another thank you before hand.

Hanzo was mixed with the ecstasy of having spent hours sharing warmth in Jesse's arms, with the melancholy of knowing it probably wouldn't happen again.

He wandered into the break room, and was surprised to see Hana and Jesse once again. He turned to leave, figuring the other man had gotten enough of him for one day, when Hana's voice stopped him.

"I got the Doritos, McCree, you got the weed?" Hana said.

Hanzo turned on his heels to see a guilty-looking Jesse staring back at him. A smirk painted itself on Hanzo's face.

"This ain't what it looks like." Jesse pleaded.

" _Captain's log, stardate 42523.7. We are en route to newly established Starbase one seven three for port call. Crew rotation is scheduled, and we will be off-loading experiment modules._ " Patrick Stewart's voice said, coming from the TV. At least they were watching the good one.

"Just an ad." Jesse lied.

"A likely story."

"Would ya'll like to join us?" 

Hanzo did, but he needed a shower and to lay down, and he was suspicious Jesse was only asking to be polite.

"I appreciate the offer, but I must tend to personal matters." replied Hanzo.

"Alright, see ya tommorrow."

Hanzo made his was back to his quarters, stripping out of his dirty clothes and washing the pine needles, dirt, and shame from his skin.

Everything felt just a little colder, even after he changed into fresh, warm clothing.

' _How pityful is it that you already miss him?_ '

Hanzo curled up with a book, unfortunately unable to become too indulged. It did work as a solid distraction, though, from his fear that the intensity of the last few hours might have ruined his friendship with Jesse.

He was about a hundred pages in when he heard a knock at the door. He sighed, hopping up to open it.

Jesse was looking down at him, a wild expression in his eyes. He grabbed Hanzo by the shoulders.

"We need to talk about Kurt Russel." said Jesse, like it was the most important thing in the world. 

"You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met." Hanzo replied.

~~~~

Jesse had gone off to bed around one a.m., leaving Hanzo alone with his insomnia. He slipped in and out of strange, nightmarish dreams, before sleep paralysis took over.

Hanzo laid on his back, unable to move. He was no stranger to sleep paralysis, as it was a common side affect of Ana's painkillers.

A greyish figure stood at his bed, indicating the hallucinations had begun. Restricted to preferential vision, Hanzo got a closer look out of the corner of his eye. It was Chairman Mao.

Hanzo awoke with a start, relieved that his motor skills had returned.

He needed a walk.

Stripping on a new kyudo-gi over simple pants, Hanzo made his way through his door.

It was about three in the morning. There was no activity throughout the dark halls, except for the blinding light of Hana's computer. It seemed she had fallen asleep in the break room during her Earthbound stream. She still had a few hundred thousand viewers, which was...concerning. Hanzo thought about ending her stream, but figured she might have be going for some sort of record. So he simply draped a sheet over her and wagged his finger at the camera, to many Somnophiliac's chagrin.

Hanzo continued on his way to the kitchen, planning to leave the building for a late night stroll. But as he turned the unlit corner, he bumped into something that wasn't usually there, which knocked him over in his sleepy state.

"Hanzo?" Jesse's voice questioned.

To Hanzo's surprise, Jesse was standing over him. He bent down, offering a hand to help him to his feet. Hanzo took it, if not just to enjoy the pleasant touch.

Jesse was no longer naked, but he was much cleaner. He was wearing a simple white shirt that complemented the graceful curves of his torso, and plaid pajama pants. It was strange to see him without his hat. There was something sweet but tantalizing about seeing him dressed so down, and with his hair so pleasantly tousled. 

' _Deviant._ '

"Christ, you can't seem to get rid of me." Jesse greeted.

"What are you doing?" asked Hanzo.

"I could ask you the same question."

"I made my query. Relieve my curiosity, and I shall relieve yours."

Jesse rubbed the back of his head, and if Hanzo didn't know any better, he'd have said the man looked straight up bashful.

"Couldn't sleep." Jesse offered.

"I gathered." Hanzo replied. Two could play at that game.

"Were were you headed?" Jesse asked, and Hanzo remembered that Jesse's quarters were directly next to the kitchen, where he had been headed. This looked more suspicious for himself than for Jesse.

"I awoke with a craving for a midnight stroll. My motives are as simple as that."

Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't talk to your brother, yet, right?" he asked.

It did not seem scolding to Hanzo, rather a genuine question.

"He is currently situated in Numbani. I will speak to him once he returns." 

"Alright. I was just up to grab some, uh, food, for uhhh, eating. I'll get outta your hair." Jesse replied, walking past Hanzo in the direction of the kitchen.

"What does my brother know that I do not?" 

Jesse stopped in his tracks as the words left Hanzo's mouth.

"What is it you wish him to discuss with me?" Hanzo pushed. "Is it my relationship with him?"

"Naw, it ain't that." Jesse mumbled.

"What is it, then?"

"You don't gotta worry about it."

"Please tell me."

Jesse let out a dark chuckle, turning back around to face Hanzo.

"I don't wanna say it." 

A sneaking suspician boiled within Hanzo, foolish as it was to even consider.

"Say it." Hanzo requested quietly. "Over the past twenty-four hours, I have formulated statements that I never thought would leave my tongue, let alone in the vicinity of another person. Please, say it."

"Wait, Hanz, do you know what I'm gonna-" Jesse started.

"Stop stalling." Hanzo interrupted.

"I ain't stallin', I was just-"

"Say it."

"Say what now?"

"What my brother knows but I do not."

Jesse looked off to the side for a second before returning the eye contact from Hanzo's unapologetic gaze.

"Lots 'a stuff." Jesse answered. "How to ride a horse, how to speak French, how to--wait, do you know how to make mediocre enchiladas?"

Jesse clearly was not going to tell him.

"If you are going to insist on using humor to avoid answering, I ask that you at least make me laugh." 

"Scathin' as an angry cow. That reminds me..."

Jesse was babbling again, clearly uncomfortable. Hanzo watched the idiot's mouth move for a solid sixty-three seconds without listening, as he pondered on what to do.

"...and that's how you tame a horse in Minecraft. Little pixel devils always-" Jesse rambled. 

"I am in love with you." Hanzo interrupted.

For a few seconds, Hanzo was unaware that the words had left his mouth.

However, after the moment past, Hanzo's own comment hit him ~~like Mark Zuckerburg's name hit the news~~  /*remove for final*/. His heart pounded in double time, probably audible in the silence that had been created.

Looking at Jesse's gaping mouth and widened eyes, Hanzo made his decision.

"I will see you tomorrow." he announced, turning on his heels and starting to travel in the direction back to his room.

He got about three steps before a metal hand grabbed his shoulder. Unwilling to turn around, Hanzo tried to continue walking, set on dragging Jesse along if he needed to, before the grip tightened and another hand was spinning him around.

"You ain't going anywhere, sugar cake." Jesse said roughly and much more articulately than his sheepish ramblings had been. He placed his hands on Hanzo's respective hips. Hanzo sucked in a quick breath.

"Now," Jesse continued, "Did you mean what you just said?"

Hanzo hadn't seen Jesse act this serious since their last high-stakes mission, his playful nature tossed out the window. Jesse's thumbs rubbed lightly over the curve of Hanzo's waist.

"What did I say?" Hanzo asked. Even though his ignorance was obviously fake, it was at the very least, not vulnerable.

"You said you were in love with me." Jesse answered in clear voice.

"Who are you?"

"Why are you so difficult, Hanz?"

"Because I am a coward. I thought at this point, you would understand that."

"Aren't we all just a bunch a' cowards." said Jesse, stroking a lock of Hanzo's untied hair.

"Break the cycle." Hanzo felt himself respond, entranced from his better judgement by Jesse's body language. 

"What?"

"Break the cycle. Kiss me before we perish of old age."

' _You idiot, did you really just-_ '

In one quick breath, Jesse flicked a finger under Hanzo's chin and closed the space between them.

Hanzo exhaled in surprise, even though this had been per his request. He had just gotten his hands into Jesse's hair when the man pulled his mouth away, to Hanzo's disappointment.

"Well?" Jesse asked.

"Well, what?" Hanzo replied with confusion, contemplating ways he could be reading the situation incorrectly. His head was spinning

"Did I break the cycle?" Jesse answered, eyes wide and teeth noticeably biting back a smirk.

Then Jesse's expression changed into something softer.

"Wanted to do that for years." he followed as he ran a finger over Hanzo's top lip.

Hanzo transitioned his weight to the balls of his feet, grabbed the sides of Jesse's face, and reconnected their mouths with so much force they nearly toppled over.

Jesse's mouth was warm and the situation had Hanzo's senses vibrating as Jesse's lips moved softly against his own. Hanzo purred as Jesse's lips parted, and was pleased to find the man didn't use too much tongue.

Only problem was the height difference. Hanzo's feet were starting to burn. So he re-positioned his leg to pop Jesse's knee out from under him, putting an arm behind his back to lower them both to the ground.

"Coulda just asked." said Jesse, back flat on the floor, leading Hanzo on top of him. He carded a hand through Hanzo's hair and led their mouths back together.

Making out on the floor of the hallway at three a.m. with Jesse McCree wasn't how Hanzo had expected this day to end, but it was nothing short of an extreamly pleasant surprise. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but Jesse was warm and grabbing at Hanzo's hips and everything seemed surreal.

"Just to be clear, I'm awake right now, right?" Jesse mumbled again Hanzo's mouth.

Hanzo pulled away.

"What?" he asked.

"I ain't asleep?" Jesse asked. "Imma bit worried that I'm dreamin' on my couch right now and that I'm gonna have a damn disappointing realization when I wake up."

"I cannot prove you are not asleep with absolute certainty, as there is much I do not understand about the universe." Hanzo answered. "But to the best of my abilities, I feel I can safely predict we are both conscious."

"Figured. This feels a lot better than in does in my dreams."

Hanzo exhaled sharply, but rolled his eyes before reaching up to thread his hands through Jesse's soft hair, kissing him hard. Jesse hummed low in response, rolling his teeth carefully over Hanzo's bottom lip. Hanzo felt his whole body pleasantly flush, and he pulled an inch away from Jesse's lips.

"If we truly wanted to keep warm, yesterday, we should have done this sooner." Hanzo said before sloting their mouths together again. Hopefully the assertive nature of his words would cover the fact that he was trembling in Jesse's hands.

"You are somethin' else, sweetheart, you know that?" mumbled Jesse against his lips.

Despite his subconscious's protests, Hanzo reveled in affection. Jesse grabbed Hanzo by the sides, flipping them over so that he was on top. He slid his hands up the sides of Hanzo's shirt before attaching his mouth to the side of Hanzo's neck.

The floor was hard and cold but Jesse's body over his own left him in no position to care. He ran his hands up the perfect curve of Jesse's hips, allowing his fingers to slip under the man's shirt.

"How long?" Hanzo asked, eyes closed as Jesse's mouth traced over his neck.

"Hmmmm?" Jesse mumbled.

"How long have you been dreaming?"

Jesse removed his mouth from Hanzo to look him straight in the eyes.

"You remember the first time I made you laugh?" Jesse asked. "It was a few years ago." 

Hanzo did.

"If you are referring to the time I was quietly minding my own business in the break room," Hanzo replied, "and you came up to me and yelled, as I reluctantly quote, 'Sweetheart, you just konichi-fucking-walked your way into my heart.', then yes, I remember."

Hanzo couldn't get through the line without quietly snickering.

"I was. You laughed so hard that tea started to come outta your nose. First time I ever saw you break your composure" said Jesse, joining him in quiet laughter. 

"Was a very uncomfortable sensation. And a very strange thing to say. You had flirted before, but never to that, hmm, standard."

"Genji gave me five bucks. And since then, I've been dreamin'. Cause your reaction was the sweetest damn thing I'd ever seen."

Hanzo pushed Jesse's head down to kiss him again, starting softly but quickly flickering tongue into his mouth. Jesse tasted a bit like Doritos and weed, but there were far worse flavors, especially with Jesse's familiar scent so present. Jesse's hands found their way underneath Hanzo's clothing to the skin of his chest, and Hanzo let out a tiny groan as Jesse fingered over his forbidden nipple. Jesse slipped his own leg between Hanzo's, and Hanzo was not able to refrain from adding a slow rock in his hips against Jesse's perfectly formed thigh.

Clothes needed to be less of a thing. Hanzo stripped Jesse's thin shirt off, enjoying the soft skin of his torso while the man's pants rode low on his hips. They did not do a very good job of hiding his hard-on, which was a welcoming and distracting sight.

Hanzo flipped them over again so that he was once again on top. His gi was pulled off, and Hanzo hummed at the sensation of their chests pressed flush together. His hair fell over both of them, and his companion was quick to thread it through his fingers.

Jesse's breathing sounded better ragged.

Hanzo broke away from Jesse's reddened lips to kiss his neck.

"Hang on." Jesse interrupted, pulling Hanzo's face to rest a few inches above his own. "There's somethin' I've always wanted to..."

Jesse ran his pointer finger over Hanzo's bottom lip for a moment before pushing it into his mouth, tracing over the backs of his teeth. Hanzo's eyes slipped shut as he let out a low noise of pleasure.

"Amusing." Hanzo said once he caught his breath. "I have always wanted to do that to you."

"I love you." Jesse replied.

Hanzo opened and closed his mouth, unsure what to say. Overcome, he pressed his forehead and nose against Jesse's. His whole body fluttered with joy and contentment and affection, from the tips of his toes to the threat of a smile that was currently compromising his stoic integrity. 

It was not a familiar sensation. Not that he was in anyway complaining. Jesse had told Hanzo he loved him a few times before, but never without being attached to another statement, or in a way that implied romantic interest.

Or sober.

"Feels nice to finally say." Jesse continued, and Hanzo could feel him smiling. Apparently he had been too wasted to remember the other times he had said it.

Jesse pulled them onto their sides, but with their faces still resting together.

The previously lustful mood had changed to something more thoughtful, and when Jesse pulled their mouths together again, it was softer.

"Finally say?" Hanzo asked against Jesse's lips, unable to help himself.

"Lemme tell ya, yesterday was hell." Jesse replied.

"Tell me." Hanzo pleaded, the words coming out in a groan.

"Having you save my sorry ass over and over again was quite humbling. But getting you warm and up against me was more than welcome. I recon I felt guilty 'bout how much I enjoyed it."

"Relatable."

And back to kissing.

"You're a--you're a damn delicacy,--Shimada." said Jesse between kisses.

"What do you--plan to do--about it?"

"A lotta stuff--I'd like to--do 'bout it,--but not much I can--do here."

Hanzo felt his breath heighten at the implications of Jesse's comment, and was very conscious of Jesse's hands as they traced their way down his hips, up his thighs, and over his butt before settling on his zipper. Jesse helped Hanzo out of his pants, immediately grabbing his now-uncovered thighs.

"We gotta have a conversation about your legs." Jesse breathed against Hanzo's teeth.

"Why?" Hanzo replied, a terrible flirt.

"They've been drivin' me crazy for the last two years, and they drove me downright insane last night."

Jesse tightened his grip to emphasize his point.

"I'll be honest." Jesse continued. "You know when you asked me yesterday to close my eyes, cause you were gettin' shit for your shoulder?"

"Yes."

Hanzo gave Jesse a quick kiss, more than pleased he could currently do it whenever he wanted, before lowering his mouth to his companion's chest.

"I didn't exactly have my eyes closed." Jesse continued, sounding a bit guilty. Hanzo felt heat swim to his abdomen.

"To be fair, I did feel a lil' bad about it. But you are sight to see."

"More." Hanzo ordered, happy when his words came out an command rather than a beg.

"Gruff an' bossy as ever."

"Then give me something to be happy about, Jesse."

As if Jesse wasn't giving him weeks worth of material to reminisce on and spark bitten-down grins.

Hanzo yelped as Jesse once again rolled over and swapped their positions, continuing their power struggle. Jesse pressed himself against Hanzo once again and rocked his hips in a manner that was so lewd that Hanzo felt damn-right ashamed for enjoying it so much.

"I apologize, I did not realize we were two seventeen year-olds on prom night." said Hanzo, in an attempt to cover his gasps of enjoyment and distract from the fact that he was matching Jesse's movements with his own hips.

"I don't give a shit, and I don't think you really do either." Jesse purred, nipping at his ear.

"Please. I still have a smolder of dignity."

It was a lie. Hanzo would have let Jesse take him in the bathroom of an Ihop.

Jesse brought his mouth over Hanzo's again, and Hanzo caught his companion's lower lip between his own teeth with a satisfying pop and a moan from Jesse.

"Well, You were right--about not being--impotent." Jesse said as he rubbed his thigh harder between Hanzo's legs. Hanzo made a noise that was of a higher pitch than intended.

"Hypocritical." Hanzo smirked as he ran his traced Jesse's erection through the thin material of his pants. Jesse groaned into his mouth, and Hanzo matched the sound when he found the fabric to be damp.

"Wondered--so bad--what you'd feel like." Jesse mumbled.

"And?"

"I'm atta loss--sweetheart,--you're so fucking gorgeous." 

"Wanted this..." Hanzo started, losing his nerve mid sentence.

"Gonna finish that thought?"

"Wanted this so bad. With you." 

Jesse reconnected their mouths, tongues flickering and hands grabbing at anything and everything. Jesse's flannel pajama pants slipped even lower on his hips, exposing the strip of hair under his navel.

"Shoulda told me." Jesse replied.

"Judging by the--circumstances I--suspect I could--say the same thing."

Jesse pulled back, and looked Hanzo dead in the eyes, a gesture that had Hanzo's ears reddening.

"God, I want you." said Jesse. 

"Take me, then."

To Hanzo's surprise, Jesse slowed the rocking of their hips to a halt, and wrapped his arms around Hanzo. 

"Hmm?" Hanzo asked.

"Don't get me wrong, I've been wanting to rut against you at three the morning on the floor for a couple' long years, but I just remembered there's stuff I wanna say." 

"I thought you were doing a fine job not staying quiet despite the situation, but feel free." 

"Look, Hanzo, I.." Jesse trailed off.

"Do you plan on finishing that thought?" Hanzo asked in mocking vengeance.

"I love you."

Hanzo's body once again lit on fire at the words. Flames licked his skin.

"I love you." Jesse said again. "God, it feels like a fucking weight's lifting offa me."

Jesse seemed to be right on the edge of a giggle, and Hanzo wasn't sure the last time Jesse had been quite this delighted.

"Damn it Hanz, I need more words to express this. Hang on..."

Hanzo watched as Jesse searched through his pants pockets for his phone, and his heart sank as string of thoughts formed.

 Jesse McCree was a good man who cared about others. On one hand, it was most of the reason Hanzo had gone and fallen for him. On the other hand, Hanzo was deeply confused as to why his feelings were returned.

"Smitten, that's a good one. Enamored, that's solid-" Jesse read from his phone.

"Jesse, there is something I do not understand." Hanzo cut in, reluctantly. 

"What?"

Hanzo paused. He gazed up at Jesse's soft expression, the exhaustion on the man's face apparent in the light of his phone. It had been a long day.

"I do not understand," Hanzo started apologetically, "why this--are you sure, with me?"

"Infatuated. Kinda, but I feel like that implies it hasn't lasted for very long. I can assure you that ain't the case." Jesse replied, ignoring the question.

"Jesse-"

"Listen, Hanzo, and listen well." Jesse started, refusing to answer. "You're smart and dry-witted and fuckin' hilarious, when you let yourself be. And you're fascinating. Your life is incredible. Maybe a bit unfortunate. You kinda got the short end of the stick on a lot. I know you just wanna be loved, I know you think you don't deserve it, I'm ain't stupid. You're wrong. You deserve to be loved, and I want you to let me."

Jesse paused and Hanzo didn't trust himself not to start sobbing if he opened his mouth. He was sure the look of shock on his face provided more than enough vulnerability for one day.

"And you're so damn competent." Jesse finished, the words coming out as a groan. "You got no idea how much it gets me off. Prettiest little thing I've ever seen, and you get shit done."

Hanzo shut off both of their abilities to speak with a kiss. It started slow, but quickly picked up the pace when Hanzo decided he needed two handfuls of Jesse's hair. 

"Hope you don't mind the mood shifting so much." said Jesse, coming up for air.

"Situational diversity is welcome." 

"That can be arranged, honey."

"Hmm?"

"Look, you don't gotta," Jesse started, pulling away and looking sheepish, "but you're pretty fuckin' welcome to spend the night."

Hanzo scoffed. "Your place is a dump. We will go to mine."

"Good man."

Jesse was in the middle of helping Hanzo to his feet when he said-

"Holy fucking shit."

"What?" Hanzo asked.

Hanzo followed Jesse's shaken gaze to the way up the hall that they were about to be headed, and immediately saw what the issue was.

Bastion was standing in the middle of the hallway. He waved.

"Lord." said Jesse. 

Bastion booped. Hanzo put on his pants.

"What should we do?" Hanzo whispered to Jesse.

"I don't fuckin' know." Jesse whispered back.

"How long has he been there?"

"I don't fuckin' know. Why would I know?"

Hanzo cocked his head.

"Does he..did he know what we were...doing?" he stuttered.

Jesse put his hands on Hanzo's waist and morphed his face into something comically enraged.

"I have. As much information. As you." Jesse replied.

"You are not nearly as stylistic of a sight as the Oscar nominee you think yourself to resemble when you do that."

"Damn it, you're a fucking tool. This is just like that time in Venice."

It felt almost the same, bickering with Jesse like he had done a million times before. Hanzo suspected that their conversations may have crossed the line into flirtatious so long ago that it was embarrassing to admit he didn't notice.

"Hey Bastion, how ya doin', buddy?" Jesse asked, turning to the omnic.

Bastion booped once more. 

"The way to your room's through him." whispered Jesse.

"I am aware. We will go around."

But the problem solved itself. Waving goodbye, Bastion turned around and walked away. 

Maybe he had gotten bored.

"That happened." said Jesse once Bastion had left do god knows what.

"Nothing gets past you." Hanzo replied, grabbing Jesse's hand and leading him the short walk to his quarters.

Jesse snickered, and and Hanzo covered his happiness through a scoff.

"At least he won't tell nobody." Jesse said, who wasn't trying to cover his happiness.

"I am not so confident. I suspect Torbjorn will know by sunrise."

Arriving at his door, Hanzo reached to turn the knob. He was rudely interrupted by Jesse spinning him around and stealing a quick kiss.

"Fast hands." said Hanzo.

"Fuck it, wanna get married?" Jesse replied, eyes half-closed and with an enduring grin that struck a chord in Hanzo's chest.

Hanzo's mouth opened uncertaintly. 

"Actually," Jesse continued, "that's a little quick. Let's give it a few years.

"You are confident." 

"Yeah, well, you're a treasure worth keeping."

Hanzo felt nearly lifted off the ground as his body swelled with affection. He was thankful there was no question as to what Jesse wanted, and for how long.

"This has been a lovely turn of events. Let us make it a little lovlier, before we collapse of exhaustion." Hanzo said as he opened the door.  

"Weeell, after you, sweetheart." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing smut for strangers on the internet sure is strange 
> 
> also just wanna say i get sleep paralysis and the figure ive hallusinated has been chairman mao on one occation. I've also gotten donald trump and marge simpson


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes welcome to my fanservice mostly fanservice for me
> 
>  

Hanzo sat on the couch in the break room, smiling to himself. It had been a few days, but the initial disbelief and glee had not subsided. Jesse passed by, on his way back from grabbing milk from the fridge, and gave Hanzo a hat tip. Hanzo didn't miss the grin on his face that stayed put even as he walked away.

They had somehow managed to keep their blooming relationship secret, despite Jesse's inability to not pinch Hanzo's butt in every hallway they walked down.

Sparring often ensued.

Genji entered the breakroom, and Hanzo found it safe to assume he was back from Numbani. He joined Hanzo on the couch.

"Greetings." said Hanzo.

"We need to talk." Genji replied in Japanese, a sign he wanted to have a private conversation. Mei and Lena were also present.

"What about?" Hanzo asked in his native tongue.

Genji's visor was up, exposing the shiny pink lines of scars under his eyes and around his mouth. Hanzo pushed past his guilt and saw that his brother's expression was one of desperation.

"We need to talk about, him." Genji said, throwing a pointed glace in their company’s direction to indicate he didn't want to use a name.

If only first names sounded different in Japanese.

"Who?" Hanzo asked.

"The horseman. The cowman. He wears a hat. You know who I am referring to."

"What about him?"

"He has been driving me crazy. Please fix it."

Hanzo wondered where this was going.

"What is he doing? Why must I be the one to fix it?" he asked.

"Have you not noticed his affection for you?" Genji replied, expression intensifying.

"Who?"

Genji smacked Hanzo on the wrist.

"Please, brother." Genji started. "He keeps asking me for advice on how to understand your behavior. And then he also asks me tips on how to court someone, and claims it unrelated. When I ask him who he is courting, he says it 'doesn't matter', and pulls out this picture of you and him from his wallet and smiles pitifully and acts as if I can't see him looking at it. He think I am so dumb, please end this."

"What-"

"I promise I would not tell you this and risk embarrassing him if the situation was not deeply painful and irritating for me. What do you think of him? Please, ask him out."

Hanzo turned the corners of his mouth up in an expression that was amused, but genuine.

"I like him very much. He is sweeter than good cake." Hanzo replied.

"Perfect! So, you'll do something about the situation?"

"No."

Gengi sighed with his entire form. It was an adorable gesture, partly a hyperbolic grab for attention, and partly an expression of authentic distress.

' _Do you truly believe you deserve him?_ ' asked Hanzo's subconscious.

' _I recon all people deserve love, Hanz.' echoed Jesse's words in his mind._

Hanzo made up his mind.

"I must go." he said. "I have a day planned out for myself, consisting of sparing, resting atop a peak to look below and make introspective statements conceptualizing world peace, and winding down in my room with snacks and a copy of the Princess Bride." 

"Oh." Genji replied, the disappointment in his voice not lost on Hanzo.

His stupid dumb idiot brother hadn't taken the hint.

"Although now that I think about it, I lack a sparring partner." Hanzo continued.

Genji's face twisted in thought.

"I believe Fareeha is available." he replied, the fucking moron.

"Genji. Spend the day with me."

A smile of realization formed on Genji's face. Hanzo scoffed, bringing himself over to kiss Genji's exposed forehead and embrace him.

"More than glad to have you back, brother." Hanzo said, and he did not specify from what.

Genji was overjoyed, hugging him back and so tightly it was a bit painful.

A moment passed, and Genji let go.

"But will you tell him how you feel? And end all our misery?" Genji asked.

"No."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some behind the scenes!  
> (put this is next chapter notes)  
> 1\. I actually had a difficult time deciding whether or not I wanted Hanzo's subconscious, and Hanzo in his conversation with Genji, to use contraptions. This is because I wanted it to be apparent that they were supposed to be in Japanese, and I'm not sure how contraptions work in Japanese, and if Hanzo uses them. I ended up just restructuring all sentences that were supposed to be in Japanese so that they didn't contain contraption opportunities.  
> 2\. I have used the word libertarian in every fanfiction (and short story) I have ever written. No, I am not a libritarian (at least, I don't think so), I just find a mention of politics funny if it's put in with good comedic timing. Also, I feel like McCree would be a libertarian.  
> 3\. I refuse to refer to characters as "the archer" or "gunslinger", although maybe I should of. I've never missed writting in second person for homestuck so much, or with characters of different genders.  
> 4\. I was really on the fence about adding the "naked and covered in A! stake sause, and then Mel Brooks turned to me and said" because even though I don't know when Overwatch is supposed to take place, I doubt Mel Brooks would still be alive by the time Jesse was born. I thought about replacing it with a younger person, but in the end, something about it being Mel Brooks seemed too perfect.  
> 5\. Jesse rambling Andrew Ryan was him recapping the background plot of bioshock, if that wasn't apperent.  
> 6\. There were a lot of metaphores and references I put in this that I'm still worried no one will get. I'm assuming most of the people who read this were born in the late 90's (as was I, but I've always been more interested in old stuff and history), so I'm not sure I really know my target audience very well.  
> 7\. I've had Wakko's 50 states stuck in my head for 7 years.  
> 8\. The line about Jesse liking his nicotine patch almost didn't make it in. I was worried people would think I was making light of addication, which wasn't my intention at all. I just find the image to be immensly ammusing. Although I will admit I stole the idea from the Simpsons.  
> 9\. I also stole the "Jesse is a girls name" line from firefly, although as a commenter pointed out to me, Jesse is not a girls name  
> 10\. Genji has a line that's a (misquote) from the princess bride. I figure he would nut over that movie anyway.  
> 11\. The origonal draft of this used the word "utilitarain", but was cut because I felt it didn't fit with the characterization.  
> 12\. I have a head canon that although McCree loves Kurt Russel movies, his favorite Russel role isn't from one of his Westerns or the better acclaimed John Carpender's Escape from New York, but rather Carpender's The Thing  
> 13\. The episode of Star Trek Hana and McCree watched was Measure of a Man  
> 14\. I was a little on the fence about having Hana smoke weed, but she should be 21 by the time Hanzo is 40.  
> 15\. I have no idea how fast people slide down ice at a 70 degree angle, so don't quote me.


End file.
